Posted by Richard Willett - Memes and headline comments by David Icke Posted on 7 June 2024

The Chelsea Horror Show: Can There Really Be Such a Thing As ‘Racist Gardening’?

Roses are red, violets are blue… but why are so few flowers ever black? Might it be because gardening itself is an inherently racist pursuit these days? It certainly is in the eyes of some.

During coverage of the Chelsea Flower Show held in late May, BBC Gardener’s World presenter Monty Don and his co-host Joe Swift sounded surprised by the chosen winner of the event’s Best Show Garden award, saying the procedures of judgement had “all become so technical” and a mere exercise in “the boxes… being ticked”, in an increasingly technocratic “procedure that is like passing a driving test”. And which particular boxes were being ticked at Chelsea? PC ones, as usual.

The gong was won by gardener Ula Maria, with a special ‘Forest Bathing Garden‘, which not only earned woke-points for being based upon foreign design traditions rather than native British ones, namely “the ancient Japanese practice of Shinrin-yoku, which means ‘bathing in the forest’”, but also for proudly listing its own “key sustainability points”, including that the slates and tiles used in its paving were all re-usable “reclaimed materials”.

Even better, the garden was somehow specifically designed for the use of sufferers from muscular dystrophy, on account of the fact it contained a “central hub with sculpted flint walls that provides a sheltered space for people to meet and share their experiences [of having muscular dystrophy] outside the clinical environment”. Well, great, but translated, surely that just means “There’s a little paved bit in the middle of the garden where people can stand and chat”, presumably about anything they so desire, not just specifically muscular dystrophy. Will AIDS, cancer or lupus sufferers be chucked out if they try to hijack proceedings to bring up their own tedious petty ailments?

Ah yes, but Maria’s garden also features “a large random knapped flint wall… chosen for its beautiful texture and form – reminiscent of muscle cells – which serves as a tool for explaining what muscular dystrophy is, and the devastating effect it can have on one’s muscles”. Where does this kind of thing end? You could plant an entire garden with trees bearing piles and piles of swollen, ripe, blood-purple plums, as a visual aid for explaining the trauma of haemorrhoids to children, or one full of lovely yellow daffodils and buttercups exclusively for the enjoyment of those with jaundice.

Design-wise, the garden looked perfectly fine but let’s face it, it probably wasn’t its actual design the thing won its prize for, was it? Instead, it was its worthy, right-on message.

Black Narcissus

What the presiding Royal Horticultural Society (RHS) judges may not realise about Maria’s winning design, however, is that, being based upon a traditional Japanese school of planting, rather than being impeccably woke, it may in fact have been profoundly racist, upon the now-dreaded grounds of ‘cultural appropriation’.

The current issue of BBC Gardener’s World Magazine features a discussion about this very issue, in its regular ‘Over the Fence’ column, where two writers give their own opposing viewpoints on the matter. This being a BBC-branded publication, however, the ‘opposing’ viewpoints printed actually both agree that British gardening is incurably racist, but only 50% so on the one hand, and 100% so on the other.

Read More: The Chelsea Horror Show: Can There Really Be Such a Thing As ‘Racist Gardening’?

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