When I was very young, I was manipulated into sex reassignment (also known as sex/gender correction or sex/gender transition) by a transsexual man in his mid-40s.
For several years he gave me puberty blockers – dangerous substances that block the effects of testosterone – and hormones of the opposite sex, i.e. estrogens.
Just before I turned 18, a psychologist, psychiatrist, and sexologist, after one visit, without any tests, fabricated a diagnosis of transsexualism and referred me, officially, for a sex change, which should never have happened.
Currently, I have had a reversal procedure, returning to the true sex I was born with, which I am very happy about. This story is described below.
I’m gay and that has a lot to do with the story. When I was 12, I struggled with a lack of self-acceptance. I already knew that I liked people of the same sex.
For the first time, I experienced my childhood ‘crush’ on vacation, where my family and I went every summer.
Fishing every day at 5 am, I met a boy a year older than me who was there in summer camp. I felt for him what I would call exactly what I wrote a moment ago: a childlike crush with no reference to sexuality or physical contact at all. I was 7, maybe 8 years old.
It is at this age that many children first find themselves with this type of innocent fascination with a person of the opposite sex or, for gays and lesbians, of the same sex.
I never met him again, but subsequent events in my life clearly indicated that I like people of the same sex. It was only later that I began to realize that this was unusual, even considered undesirable.
The awareness that I was attracted to people of the same sex matured in me very slowly and gradually.
Over time, being in the older classes of primary school and then junior high school, I knew that I did not like the girls at all: neither emotionally nor physically. Same-sex couples were not accepted and were actively condemned. In fact, they were ridiculed, and calling someone ‘gay’ was an offensive epithet.
As I pondered my future, I increasingly thought that a normal, healthy, gay life would be impossible. I also developed a belief that same-sex attraction is wrong.
Contrary to stereotypes, it did not result from religion lessons, because I met a similar, only milder, negative view of homosexuality first in high school; I can’t recall our quite strict nun in junior high school ever expressing a negative attitude towards gays.
It is difficult to hide homosexual orientation in adolescence and as many lesbians and gay men know, it is a great reason for peers who find out about it or suspect it, to ridicule, offend, insult or threaten, by, for example, saying that this will be broadcast to everybody.