Why can adults be doomed to never experience ‘real love’

As adults we look fondly at our past experiences when growing up. Full of hope and without the knowledge of trauma. Maybe those times were different, but is it time or our perception that changes as we grow?
It’s no mistake that we come into this world with ultimate and utter trust , that most of us we have as children. We all have certain traumas , unfortunately some more severe than others. We place our trust in our parents , our relatives , their close friends. Falling in love can happen at an early age, where our souls can easily recognise kindred spirits. As we grow up, the harsh realities hit us like a tsunami. We get the a picture of what love is about as mortar of the time it’s through the prism of abandonment, co-dependency and fear of not fitting in. The notion of true love begins to wear off. We start looking for a partner that can give us a certain status, help us achieve our dreams, who tolerated our personality. We realise that love fades and too often we switch our attention to things like comfort, financial stability and general compatibility. Real love takes a back seat.

This perception can become selfish and ‘self absorbed’. Our expectations seem to prioritise love. We can look at others and notice couples who are doing better financially, or at least our preception is that they are doing better. Growing up can feel ‘anti love’ and ‘traumatic’. True love seems to becomes a rarity. Instead, we choose the ego as a compass to focus our heart energy. The ego is an important component that protects us against heartbreak and allows us to navigate our world; but, It seems, partners can come and go because of our ego and fears. We have to aknowledge that we have ourseves for life – our ‘self- love’. Preserving ourselves and our feelings becomes a priority when we love ourselves.

Read more: Why can adults be doomed to never experience ‘real love’