“It’s not what you remember that matters, it’s how you remember it,” Mark wisely told me as he handed me a pen to write out memory.
Mind control survivors are emerging in vast numbers these days, often inspiring me to reflect on Mark’s wisdom as I see them begin speaking out only to be triggered back in. Until a survivor heals on all levels through re-opening neuron pathways of repressed memory in their brain, they are still vulnerable, highly suggestible, and susceptible to being misled by others.
Many reach out to me wanting to know how I can speak out for 35 years without wavering or being triggered back in. When survivors say they wish they ‘had a Mark’ to help them, I always remind them that Mark did not deprogram me- he handed me keys to my own mind. True healing comes from within, and it is within us all to heal ourselves.
Indeed, HOW something is remembered is far more important than WHAT is remembered.
Reverberation of that powerful statement is why I am fully healed. Indeed, every survivor should “have a Mark” to encourage them with pearls of wisdom like this one! Reading ACCESS DENIED For Reasons of National Security aloud for a soon-to-be-released audiobook, I noted page after page of encouragements Mark gave me throughout my healing process that still lift me today.
What better way to celebrate the 35th anniversary of Mark’s 2-8-’88 rescue of my daughter and me from the Wash DC swamp than to share encouragements he gave me!
“You have to know who you are in order to have something to give in a relationship,” Mark told me, dodging my playful advances conditioned by heightened sexuality. “I don’t want you a piece at a time, I want all of you at once!” Love is the greatest healer and was the greatest motivation to literally “pull my head together and integrate.”
“Integrity comes with Integration”, and even the best of intentions cannot substitute full integration that comes through healing from within. “Healing is a process, not an event, so it is important to be gentle with yourself and celebrate freedom every step of the way.”
My brain was as compartmentalized as society is today with no inner-communication. Traumatic memory is repressed by neuron pathways shutting down in the brain through what is professionally defined as “the mind’s sanedefense to trauma too horrible to comprehend.”
“It takes brains for this coping mechanism to even occur, which means you are smart enough to remember everything. “
I wasn’t sure I even wanted to remember details of events flashing on my mind’s screen, until Mark encouraged me. “You already survived it once. There’s no sense in you reliving it. It’s your memory, and you already know it. View your mind’s screen through the eyes of the part of you that endured it. Smell the smells. Then write it out.”
I began applying healing methods Mark taught me writing out my memory by hand (typing does not heal the brain the same way moving a pen does). Facing the reality of what I had been programmed to do under mind control was devastating. How could I ever live with myself?
“You are not responsible for what you were tortured to do under mind control,” Mark gently consouled me, “Now that you are aware, you are responsible for every thought and action going forward.”
Wow. Responsibility is the ability to respond, I concluded. The ability to think to choose action. I consciously decided my responses would be true-to-soul now that I had the ability to think for my self.