If anyone tries to keep the mourners ‘socially distanced’ at my funeral, I will come back from wherever I may be to haunt them. They won’t like it, I promise.
And I also expect any members of my family to respond with proper British vigour to any such attempt.
If there is one place where Pfeffel Johnson’s nasty new petty dictatorship ought to be afraid to tread, it is in this intensely private, raw occasion, when we stare through tears over the brink of life and say our final farewells before those we love are consigned to the flames or to the good English earth.
The average hyena would have the sensitivity to stay out of the way. But these fanatics have no shame and no manners.
They think they are so good and so right that their hearts have turned to stone.
When an officious oaf separated two brothers from their grieving mother at a funeral in a Milton Keynes crematorium, he was acting entirely in the spirit demanded by Johnson and his concrete-headed consigliere, Matthew Hancock.
This is what they want, a population in a state of superstitious terror, patrolled by self-righteous busybodies, snitched on by informers.
As far as I am concerned, it was Johnson and Hancock who forced those two brothers to stand away from their mother, and I personally will not forgive them for it until they have gone from office and publicly apologised for their folly.
For behind the crematorium jobsworth stands the great array of rules and crippling, tyrannical fines which this pair have erected in what used to be a free country, through lawless and dubious decrees which the courts of England should long ago have struck down.
Read more: Peter Hitchens: ‘When an officious oaf separated two brothers from their grieving mother at a funeral in a Milton Keynes crematorium, he was acting entirely in the spirit demanded by Johnson and his concrete-headed consigliere, Matthew Hancock’