The UK prime minister has, in his infinite wisdom, decided to impose a raft of new restrictions to avoid another lockdown after the first one was such a resounding success. These measures are shameful.
I hope you all enjoyed those precious few weeks of semi-freedom. I, like all Britons, will look back on the summer of 2020 fondly. A time when we all dressed like dandy highwaymen to go shopping and surrendered our personal details to pub staff wearing visors and wielding thermometer pistols. We gathered in groups of seven, sometimes more, Rishi Sunak bought us all dinner, the Welsh re-opened the border, and millionaires knelt in empty stadia as sport returned to our screens. Shall we ever know such halcyon days again?
Not anytime soon, if our dear leader’s latest statement is anything to go by. Earlier today, Boris Johnson decided to relieve himself over the nation’s collective bonfire with the force of an authoritarian Grand National winner. His stable lads, Whitty and Vallance, had prepared the ground for him a day earlier, by publishing a graph designed purely to help people get through the last of their stockpiled bog roll. With the proviso that it “wasn’t a prediction”, they then proceeded to tell the nation that 49,000 people a day could be getting the dreaded ’rona by mid-October, if we didn’t do something drastic. Lo and behold, a day later something drastic has been done.