‘The British media celebrated a TV host coming out as gay after 27 years of being married to a woman with near blanket media coverage.
“With the strength and support of my wife and my daughters, I have been coming to terms with the fact that I am gay,” Philip Schofield announced on Instagram before being interviewed about the decision on live morning television.
The British media immediately launched into a full court press celebration of Schofield’s sexual proclivities.
At one point, Sky News devoted three of their top four breaking news headlines to the subject.
Hopefully, they’ll also be first to inform us about the TV host’s first meal, shower and bowel movement following the announcement that Schofield is out of the closet.
The stampede of enthusiasm was so vehement, Buckingham Palace was forced to deny rumors that the Queen had abdicated her throne and that Schofield was about to be proclaimed King.
When contacted for comment, Jesus Christ said that the second coming was cancelled because it couldn’t compete with the momentous revelation of Schofield’s announcement that he liked anal sex with men.
Meanwhile, in Australia, a mother of four in a heterosexual relationships is being publicly shamed for wanting to care for her husband and make him breakfast.
You can’t stop progress!’
Read More: UK Celebrates Man Coming Out as Gay After 27 Years of Marriage with Blanket Media Coverage