‘They’d come to slap each other’s backs and feel virtuous about themselves.
Very, very virtuous.
The world’s biggest stars – not least in their own mirrors – flocked to Sunday night’s Golden Globes to show us all how woke, worthy and wonderful they are. And, of course, to attack their go-to punchbag President Trump.
Meat was even banned from their dinner tables to illustrate just how much these kind-hearted celebrities care about the environment.
‘See, we’re saving the planet!’ was the proud collective message, spoken by multi-millionaire actors and actresses who’d flown to Los Angeles in their private jets and been driven to the Beverly Hilton Hotel in stretch limousines.
Who cares about such massive gas-guzzling carbon footprints when they’re making the ultimate sacrifice of swapping their steaks for ‘vibrant chilled golden beet soup’, ‘King Oyster mushroom scallops risotto’ and a vegan opera dome dessert’?
But these selfless do-gooders left three hours later feeling abused, insulted, broken and shell-shocked thanks to a host who couldn’t give a damn about their hurt feelings.
They can’t say they weren’t warned.
‘It’s a room full of the biggest virtue-signalers and hypocrites in the world,’ Ricky Gervais had said in a pre-Globes interview with the Spectator magazine, ‘so I’ve got to go after that’.